Declaring “it’s been a long three years, and we had our plate full from the very beginning,” Stephen Flatow of West Orange ended his term as chair of United Jewish Communities of MetroWest NJ’s Community Relations Committee on June 30.

In an interview with NJ Jewish News on the eve of a June 28 CRC board meeting at the Livingston home of his successor, Merle Kalishman, Flatow said he “jumped right into the fray on Darfur,” then “faced the catastrophe of the tsunami in Asia and budget cutbacks at MetroWest.”

Enlisting local support in the battle against African genocide, working to secure emergency aid for devastated storm victims in southeast Asia, then mounting efforts to aid victims closer to home after Hurricane Katrina were but part of an agenda complicated by a downsized staff.

“You wish you didn’t have to deal with genocide in Darfur. You wish you didn’t have to deal with a tsunami in Asia,” Flatow said. “But those are the disappointments that divert you from the nice things you want to be able to do in your own community.”

“I think the community can really thank Steve for his personal passion and commitment — particularly to Israel. It made him a powerful advocate,” said CRC director Lori Price Abrams.

“Some of the intergroup stuff we did had an Israel component,” she said, especially citing outreach to local leaders of the Presbyterian Church — whose General Assembly voted in July 2004 to divest its stock in companies that do business with Israel.

“When the divestment issue hit the media, it was the CRC that jumped into action, scheduling private meetings with clergymen here in New Jersey, Presbyterians specifically, to find out what was going on. Much to our surprise, they were not in accord with the national campaign to divest,” said Flatow.

“I have no doubt that our efforts as part of a national grassroots scheme had an impact on the Presbyterians’ leadership,” Price Abrams added. “They acknowledged the pain caused to Jewish-Christian relations because of their position. We helped effect some change.”

Flatow’s concerns about Israel and other issues have been underscored by the death of his 20-year-old daughter, Alisa, who was killed in a 1995 Gaza bus bombing. In and outside the CRC, he has maintained close ties with both American and Israeli leaders.

“MetroWest was the first community to see Arye Mekel when he was first named Israel’s consul general in New York,” said Flatow. “We’ve always been very close to the New York consulate. MetroWest is not a light federation. Everyone in the industry has heard of MetroWest. It carries a great deal of weight. You don’t throw it around; you use it with discretion at the appropriate times, and you do get your meetings.”

He was instrumental in arranging a meeting in West Orange between the Israeli diplomat and New Jersey’s former acting governor, Dick Codey.

Flatow helped organize a surrogate candidates’ debate in October 2004 with representatives of presidential candidates George W. Bush and John Kerry, who squared off at Adath Shalom in Parsippany. Two years later, Democrat Jon Corzine and Republican Douglas Forrester made separate appearances at a pre-election forum at Temple B’nai Abraham in Livingston, cosponsored by the CRC and seven other Jewish organizations.

Moving in another direction, “stem cell research caught my eye,” said Flatow, who helped spearhead two seminars on ethical, theological, and economic issues surrounding such experimentation — especially when fetal tissue is harvested for that purpose. “The question is, what can Jews do in terms of stem cell research?”

After sponsoring a daylong forum keynoted by Rabbi Moshe Tendler, a leading Orthodox bioethicist, and a debate on whether state monies should be used, “we came out with a position that the Jewish community supported, favoring public funding of such research. I’m not aware that any other CRC did as much research or did any type of program like we did here in MetroWest.”

As he prepared to leave office, Flatow reflected on some unfinished business, particularly regarding the different denominations.

“I would like to have been able to do more with the different streams, getting people together, getting people in different streams involved in the CRC.”

Specifically, he advocated greater inclusion of his fellow members of the Orthodox community. “I don’t know if I would call it reluctance on their part,” he said, “but it’s not something we can ignore. I would like next year when I’m not chairman to reach out more to the Orthodox community to let them know the federation is not the enemy, that federation does things for people who are not able to care of themselves.”

As far as incoming chair Kalishman — a Reform Jew — is concerned, “There is nothing in my entire being that would disagree with Steve. Having served on the religious pluralism committee for a number of years and seeing how people interact religiously in this world and this country, I think it is very important that we are able to function as a united committee. But it is also a matter of finding ways to respect each other and the different points of view that we have.”

Born and raised in Brooklyn, Kalishman’s association with the NJ Jewish community began in childhood, years before she moved to the state, when she attended Nah-Jee-Wah, a NJ Y camp.

“Like you don’t have to be Jewish to eat Levy’s Rye Bread, you didn’t have to come from New Jersey to go to a NJ Y camp. And you didn’t have to be Jewish, either. In essence, that is where my Jewish education started.”

In the years since, it has expanded considerably.

After moving to West Orange in 1960 and becoming a first grade teacher at Mount Pleasant School, she joined the American Jewish Congress and Temple B’nai Abraham, which was then located in Newark.

Through the years, Kalishman has served as president of the state’s Y camps, chair of the Jewish Education Association of MetroWest, and past president of her temple.

To Price Abrams, the new chair “has a strong sense of the community, having been involved in so many aspects of this community. She knows a lot of people, which is advantageous in terms of engaging them and getting them to pay more attention and become more active with the things we do.”

Although she believes “there is so much going on in the world right now that I can’t say I have a top priority,” Kalishman said that “separation of church and state has always been an important issue and will always continue to be an important issue for me.”

That she considers herself a pacifist might also influence her agenda. “I hate fighting and I hate war and I really and truly believe there has to be a better way.”

While she is concerned about the constraints that budget cuts might impose on the CRC, Kalishman said she “wants to make sure that young people coming up in our federation and our community understand the kind of topics CRC deals with. I would love to be able to integrate young people into the discussion.”

Neither woman is yet sure how the change in lay leadership might affect the CRC’s focus.

“I think change moves very slowly,” said the director. “It’s steering a big ship, not a sports car. We don’t turn on a dime. A different leader is going to have to reflect not just his or her own view in isolation but really speak on behalf of the community. Maybe it is going to steer differently, but it is not going to make a radical course change.”

To Kalishman, “it is important that we be able to work cooperatively with other groups in this area, whether it be in terms of urban affairs or other issues. I personally believe that if something is good for our neighbors, it is good for us. We’ve always felt that if it’s important for the Jews, it is important for other people. It works both ways.”