After Leonard Berkeley's wife died last December, the 59-year-old widower had to travel to a JCC in Manhattan from his home in Livingston just to find a bereavement support group.

"I tried for months to find a bereavement support group in New Jersey. I was told JFS had one. But when I called, they told me they didn't have one for me, not for people my age," he said, referring to the Jewish Family Service of MetroWest.

The last time JFS held a group for young widowers was "at least five years ago," according to Leah Kaufman, JFS director of eldercare services. But it isn't for lack of staff or desire. Rather, it has to do with demand.

"We can't have a group unless we have client demand," Kaufman said. And, too often, there isn't a critical mass of younger people requesting a group at the same time.

To fill this gap, Berkeley has spearheaded a cooperative effort among the JFS, the MetroWest Jewish Health and Healing Center, and the Jewish National Fund to provide a central bereavement address in the local Jewish community. What started with Berkeley fielding calls from younger widows and widowers has now grown into a bereavement hotline, which went live the week of Sept. 9.

The line, (973) 765-9050, ext. 346, will ring in the JFS offices; Berkeley has donated money to cover the costs of establishing the service.

The aim of the hotline is to provide one number for people to call for any kind of bereavement issues. It will be answered by a trained therapist from JFS who will provide information regarding local services, including bereavement support groups. The therapist will keep track of people with different kinds of losses in different age groups. As soon as a critical number of people – eight – express interest in joining a particular group, one will form.

The therapist will also direct individuals to one-on-one therapy, which JFS provides, until groups are available.

"We're hopeful that once things get rolling, we can start a new group once every month," said Rabbi Rebecca Sirbu, director of the MetroWest Health and Healing Center.

JNF got involved through Berkeley's close affiliation with the organization and through his friendship with JNF Northeast zone director Joel Leibowitz. When Berkeley asked Leibowitz to help him do something about the issue locally, Leibowitz contacted the Center for Health and Healing and JFS and remained involved.

Bereavement support is offered by a variety of local agencies, from hospice care facilities to hospitals to organizations like National Council of Jewish Women. But few are both led by a trained therapist and open to the community regardless of cause of death or where the deceased was cared for at the end of life.

JFS has never had trouble forming groups for older participants, according to Kaufman. In fact, there are three running this fall, one for 60 to 70-year-olds and two for 70-80 and over. But younger people with busy lives and young children face their own particular challenges. Younger widows and widowers are often still working or have children at home they are still caring for.

When it comes to forming a support group for such people, said Sirbu, "committing to come for six to eight weeks is a big commitment."

Berkeley found his involvement in the support group he joined in Manhattan to be an important step in the grieving process.

"I was in so much pain; I had so many thoughts spinning through my head. I thought I was going crazy," he said. In the group, he found, "there wasn't a hair's difference between myself and the others. Nobody could touch their spouse's clothes or go into their closets… We all found we had the same feelings and that we weren't alone. That's the key – you think you're the only one. What I found out is that man or woman, we all have the same feelings."