Jewish kids, like many kids today, are under a lot of stress, according to research recently performed in schools. Most kids set -- and we as parents encourage this -- very high expectations for themselves: being an honors student, making it as a top athlete, looking good, having dozens of friends, performing community service -- and attending religious activities. Too often, kids are setting unrealistically high expectations for themselves. The result? It's like a balloon that gets just too much air -- it pops, according to writer Barbara Meltz for The Boston Globe. But just as we adults must learn to cope with stress, so can our children. Here are what the experts are saying:

• Tell your kid how to recognize stress overload: They may feel wound up, get a headache or stomach ache, grind their teeth, become impatient with friends and yell at family. Trouble sleeping is another indication. So is feeling tired all the time and feeling like they can never catch up with everything they have to do -- school, friends, extracurricular activities.
• Teach your child the difference between a stressful event -- and the reaction to it. For example, a child may do poorly on a test. That can be very stressful, especially for children who are used to being top students. Tell your child that his initial reaction of disappointment or frustration is normal, but that then the child must learn to "let go" of this one event and not put himself down for days or weeks. If your child needs extra help in the subject, he should seek it out, recognizing this action as a sign of strength and a positive means of coping with a stressful event. "The most important message you can convey to a child of any age", says Gloria Deckro of the Mind/Body Institute at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, "is that although you can't always change what happens to you, you can change how you react to it."
• Teach your kids stress management -- how to relax when they're stressed and when they're not. Relaxing during moments when you're not stressed gets your body more automatically attuned into relaxing when you do encounter stress. John Dacey, author of Your Anxious Child (Bass), says that girls respond well to guided imagery -- where they are asked to think of a place or a person that makes them feel calm, such as a garden or beach. Boys seem to do better with learning deep breathing or relaxing different muscle groups.

As a parent, there are several things we can do to help reduce the amount of stress in our kids' lives, according to Meltz of The Boston Globe.

1. Make sure your child has some leisure time in her life. Let her know it's okay (and it is) that not every hour be filled with something. Show your kids that you value leisure time by putting your feet up and taking time out.
2. Encourage your kid to reduce tension by writing in a journal, engaging in physical activity (which need not be competitive) like yoga, keeping a journal, writing poetry or playing a musical instrument -- for fun.
3. Talk at the dinner table about things that are bothering your kids. This seems to be a built-in outlet for relieving stress.
4. Seek professional help for your child if he shows signs of excess stress. This may include depression, withdrawing from friends, too much or too little sleeping or blowing up at things he or she would normally take in stride.