On the Ground in Israel A personal view of our efforts in Israel from Amir Shacham, UJC MetroWest Director of Israel Operations July 29, 2008

Karnit

I dialed the phone number and my hand was shaking. I didn't really know what I was going to say. I hesitated until I pressed the last digit of the number, but eventually, I did it. I called Karnit Goldwasser. It was August 2006, only a couple of weeks after her husband of less than a year, Ehud, was kidnapped to Lebanon together with his friend Eldad Regev. The Second Lebanon War, which developed as a result, had just ended, leaving all of us with personal grief, criticism of the military, and national anger. In the midst of all this turmoil, I was calling Karnit. Her name then was not that familiar in Israel or abroad, but from the day of the kidnapping and the start of the war, she took a personal leadership role in the struggle she named: "bringing my Udi back home."

A few days before, I received a request from one of our "Solidarity Missions" that was about to arrive in Israel; they asked if they could meet Karnit. My immediate reaction was, "no way, forget it; it is too sensitive, she doesn't need American visitors right now." However, after watching her on TV that evening and sleeping on it that night, I changed my mind and decided to ask her. It was surprisingly easy to get her phone number, and the relative who gave it to me said that I shouldn't worry at all as "she is a very nice person." Yet my hand was shaking and I hesitated until the last digit of the number.

Before I asked her if she would be willing to meet with my group, I introduced myself fearfully, apologized a hundred times and emphasized that we are not dignitaries or influential people. She was so nice and down to earth. She spoke with me as if we had known each other for years and did not hesitate one minute before saying: "No problem at all, just tell me when and where. I am going to meet anyone possible who will help in my struggle to bring my Udi back home." I fell in love with her that day.

Ultimately, the meeting did not take place. A day before it was scheduled, Karnit along with other Regev and Goldwasser family members went on their first journey abroad out of hundreds. I think they were called to meet with the U.N. Secretary General. Before she left, she didn't forget to have her sister call me to apologize and to try to reschedule.

With time, Karnit became a national symbol. She was interviewed all over the world; she met with everyone possible, from presidents and secretary generals to solidarity missions and Amcha (ordinary people). She talked eloquently, with passion, love, and dignity, about her struggle to bring the kidnapped soldiers home. She never cried publicly or broke. She became the unofficial spokesperson for the families, and I believe that many people in Israel and in the Diaspora Jewish communities fell in love with her, just like I did.

Our next encounter was a few months later, in November 2006. Karnit was invited to speak before the UJC General Assembly in Los Angeles. She stood there on the huge stage before the plenary, petite but determined and full of strength. In front of some 4,000 Jews, she spoke about her personal life and her national struggle, leaving no dry eyes in the crowd. I am sure everyone in the hall felt the same and had a desire to hug her in support. The next day, while I was walking the endless corridors of the Los Angeles Convention Center, Karnit suddenly crossed my path. I couldn't help but approach her, telling her how much I admire her and wanted to shake her hand. Surprisingly enough, she laid her arm on my shoulder in what might be considered a hug. I was so touched and proud.

A few months ago, a class of the Joseph Kushner Hebrew Academy from Livingston, New Jersey, asked to meet with Karnit as part of their Israel studies. They approached Orli Dudaie, the UJC MW Shlicha, asking if it could be arranged. Orli discussed it with me and I was skeptical: "Yes," I said, "Karnit is great and down to earth but more than a year has passed by and nothing has happened. She met with so many people, pleaded to so many dignitaries, and interviewed for so many TV channels. It is unlikely that she will still have the strength and desire to meet with a class of kids from New Jersey via video conference." I was wrong again. Karnit was more than happy to do it. She said that it gives her the energy to go on with her struggle to bring her Udi back home. We arranged for Haifa University to host the video conference session, and it was very moving for both sides.

A few days ago, two years after it began, Karnit's struggle ended. Her Udi returned home, together with Eldad. They were brought back in black coffins. They were both killed during the kidnapping incident of July 12, 2006. For the first time after she began her brave journey, we saw Karnit cry and we all cried with her. Udi and Eldad became part and parcel of our lives, members of our extended families. Karnit was able to penetrate into our collective heart, and she brought Udi and Eldad with her.

In return for the bodies, Israel returned Samir Kuntar to Lebanon. He is a despicable murderer who killed many, including a four year old girl and her father, with his bare hands, some 30 years ago in Nahariya. In Israel and around the world, a debate was ignited: Was it a smart idea to release Kuntar for the bodies? Will it damage our national security? Will it encourage the terrorists to kidnap more people? What is our commitment to our IDF soldiers? To the families of Regev and Goldwasser? To Smadar Haran, who lost her husband and two daughters in the Kuntar's terror attack? I was asked by many, what is my personal take on it as an Israeli, and my reply was, "We had to do it for the Karnits." Karnit in plural, representing the family members who rely on our country to bring their Udis back home. It is a "built-in" value of our nation and of our faith. It is our unique strength.

Lori Klinghoffer, a leader in the MetroWest community, is now serving as the chair of the Women's Philanthropy of national UJC. In that capacity, she was given the honor to represent all of us at the funeral of Ehud Goldwasser. I was there when Lori shared her experience with her colleagues later that day. Lori spoke beautifully about the atmosphere at the funeral, of the dignity, modesty, and pride that she felt there. She spoke about the sense of one big family, the power of unity and solidarity, the values of Klal Yisrael and Peoplehood, and the need to go on with our lives. She shared the amazing strength and extraordinary personality that she felt while shaking Karnit's hand and hugging her on our behalf.

The mass, noisy events which took place in Lebanon and in Gaza to celebrate the release of the murderer Kuntar were the total opposite of ours. We should be proud of our restraint, dignity, and unity; we should be proud that we have such people like Karnit, the Goldwassers, the Regevs, and the Shalits among us. They remind us that our national resilience is based on our people, our values, and our Jewish solidarity. Both the Lebanese and the Palestinians already proved to us how they can have bloody civil wars. We are stronger.

One of the most emotional scenes at Udi's funeral was the moment when Smadar Haran and Karnit Goldwasser hugged. The murderer of Smadar's daughters and husband is celebrating his release from Israeli jail in return for Udi's body, which was being brought to burial at the same time. It was not an easy day for Smadar and not an easy decision to be there, and yet, she came to show solidarity with Karnit. She felt what we all feel. We are one family. Even more symbolically: Smadar, Karnit, and Udi grew up and lived only few blocks from one another in the city of Nahariya. What a surprising coincidence and an amazing, horrifying destiny.

In her eulogy to Udi, Karnit said that he personally accompanied her in his quiet way for the last two years. He was with her during the entire struggle and she drew her strength from him. She said that in spite of his physical absence, Udi was able to unite the country and educate the nation. From now on and forever, he will continue to be with her in her struggle to rebuild her life: present, strong, and quiet.

In a paraphrase of her words, I can humbly say to Karnit on behalf of many: "You penetrated our lives through difficult circumstances, but in your quiet, strong, and dignified way, you were able to unite us and educate us all about the values of unity and solidarity. Karnit, you will always have a place in our personal and collective hearts when we go on with our lives."

Drishat Shalom,

Amir

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On the Ground archive

• July 15, 2008
• July 1, 2008
• June 6, 2008
• May 26, 2008
• May 12, 2008
• April 28, 2008
• April 14, 2008
• March 31, 2008
• March 17, 2008
• March 3, 2008
• February 13, 2008