On the Ground in Israel A personal view of our efforts in Israel from Amir Shacham, UJC MetroWest Director of Israel Operations September 16, 2008

The "SHIDUCH" Business

Many moons ago, at the end of the last century, when I started my career in helping connect Diaspora Jewry with Israel, I was often asked by many of my Israeli friends to explain what exactly I was doing. It didn't look to them like a "real serious business" but rather "Luft Gesheften" (business in the air). Typical Israelis do not have a clue about the importance, vibrancy, and complexity of these relationships and most time they are very cynical about it altogether. On the other hand, Israelis who went on a meaningful visit and explored the Jewish communities in North America, whether on Shlichut, by an organized encounter, or otherwise, they came back totally changed. They suddenly understood the issue, became advocates of its importance to both sides, and many times even re-discovered their own Jewish identity and sense of Zionism.

In order to look reasonably sophisticated and to justify my "Luft Gesheften" career in the eyes of my cynical and clueless friends, I often used the following metaphor to explain what I was really doing: "I am in the construction business," I proudly said. "My specialty is building windows of all sizes. I construct these windows, bring people to look through them, and then suddenly a miracle occurs when they discover an entire, new, exciting, and fascinating world out there."

Over the years, I upgraded my profession and went into the engineering business: building windows was not good enough any more to explain my weird profession, and I changed my metaphoric job description to "Bridge Engineering." It sounds even more sophisticated to my ignorant friends. "I am now planning bridges which will connect the Diaspora and Israeli communities. The only way to maintain a sense of peoplehood and Jewish continuity is to bring as many people as possible to cross these bridges and get to know the other community from within. It is not only Israelis who do not know and do not care; it is also the next generation of American Jewry who feels the same about their Israeli brethren. Creating 'living bridges' and accumulating 'bridge crossers,' like Partnership 2000, Birthright Israel, Rishonim, Mifgash, Diller teen fellows, Masa, etc., will make the difference."

I have to admit that although there is a blessed change in the level of understanding of this issue and a much greater involvement on both sides of the ocean, at least among my friends, we are not there yet. I am still often asked: "OK, so it is essential to strengthen American Jewry, but why is this so important to us Israelis? Why should we invest time and effort in constructing and developing the 'living bridges'? What's in it for us?" I obviously have many great answers to this question, and I can provide a ready-made lecture about it at any given moment, but usually no one is really interested. So I discovered that the best way to explain is again to change my metaphoric job description and use another important profession, although this time less sophisticated and more traditional: I am now "The Shadchan" (the Jewish matchmaker).

Obviously, we mainly focus on matching our UJC MetroWest community with its partnered communities in Israel. This is the basic Shiduch, a piece of cake for professional and experienced Shadchanim like us. However, we should be mostly proud of the matchmakings that we were able to create among Israelis themselves: The fact that our MetroWest community plays a central role in connecting various segments, regions, and individuals in Israel is unique and extremely valuable. Israeli society is not united, to say the least. The political, religious, ethnic, and economic divisions create conflicts and sometimes hatred among us. It does not allow us to find the so needed positive common ground to unite us. We have enough external threats; we can't afford to develop so many inner rifts. We of UJC MetroWest are "outsiders" but still caring "family members." This allows us to make matches and help build relationships that would never have happened on a natural basis. Like in every Shiduch, after we make it, we retreat, and the couple needs to maintain it on their own. It usually works out well, and throughout the years I experienced hardly any "ugly divorces."

When I use my Shadchan metaphoric job description to my skeptic friends, it becomes much clearer to them. They now understand much better, not just what I do for living but why it is their business as well and why it is important to develop and maintain these relationships. When I give them the examples below, they might become less cynical and appreciate more the involvement, commitment, dedication, and caring of Jews around the world to one another. I know that in New Jersey you feel the same.

• Ofakim/ Merchavim - Our two Partnership 2000 municipalities were not connected before we arrived there. They are very different geographically, demographically, and culturally. They had many conflicts over land and taxes. Now they are almost one region with lots of connections and joint ventures. It's a match.

• EtzionNegev - Two of our other partnered communities are totally the opposite of one another: the Sha'ar Hanegev region is comprised of some 10 kibbutzim, located on the Gaza border, politically left wing, totally secular. The Gush Etzion region is located behind the 1967 "green line" and is comprised of some 12 settlements, politically right wing, religiously Orthodox. They didn't have any connection between them before we matched them up together. They realized that they have more in common than they had perceived. Now the mayors, the leadership, and the communities are "married." It's a match.
• JAFI/JDC - The two main national overseas agencies working on behalf of the organized Jewish community. While they both do a good job, there was not much cooperation between them. Sometimes there was tension. Recently, we were able to create a wonderful JDC program in our P2K JAFI region, working cooperatively and in harmony on the ground, on a non-political level. It's a match.
• Hurfeish/Ramat Eliyahu - Hurfeish is a Druze village in the upper Galilee. Ramat Eliyahu is a development Jewish neighborhood partnered with MetroWest for 30 years. There were no connections whatsoever between these two Israeli communities until we came along. We created the bond between them and now on a monthly basis they visit each other and do projects together while finding lots of common ground as Israelis. It's an intermarried Shiduch.

• Beller/Kolberg - Rabbi Daniel Beller is an Orthodox Rabbi and a Jewish educator in Ra'anana. Rabbi Tamar Kolberg is a female Reform rabbi and a Jewish educator in Ra'anana. Cooperation between the religious streams is unheard of in Israel. Rabbi Beller and Rabbi Kolberg were matched up by us and developed a personal appreciation and professional joint ventures. They can't pray together but they can teach together and they created a joint Beit Midrash in our partnered community of Ra'anana. It is a match.

Drishat Shalom,

Amir

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On the Ground archive

• September 2, 2008
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