Families of terror victims met recently at a seminar and retreat organized by the Kobi Mandell Foundation. The seminar, which took place at Hoda'ot near Kibbutz Lavi in the north of Israel, presented members of these stricken families with an opportunity to express their feelings of loss to each other.

While all the families receive counseling to help them work through and alleviate their grief, all the participants agreed that only those who had lost loved ones under similar circumstances could fully understand the significance of such a loss.

Rabbi Seth Mandell set up the foundation along with his wife Sherri to commemorate the memory of their son, Ya'akov "Kobi" Mandell, who was murdered by terrorists in May 2001.

Rabbi Mandell stated, "When I see children returning from some fun activity, laughing and smiling and setting aside their grief if only for a few minutes, then I know that all the effort has been worthwhile."

Each member of a family touched by terror is affected differently, explains Rabbi Mandell.

For this reason, discussion groups were set up for fathers, mothers and siblings separately. The brothers and sisters of terror victims were further divided into age groups and encouraged to express their feelings as to how the loss of a brother or sister under such tragic circumstances has affected their lives. The most predominant fact that came to light was that the children had become increasingly aware that their friends started reacting to them differently, and they were unsure whether their feelings towards them were ones of pity or of genuine friendship.

The sad reality was that they felt that they could identify more with children who had experienced a similar tragedy.

Arnold and Frimet Roth, whose 15-year-old daughter, Malka, was killed in the bombing of the Sbarro restaurant in July 2001, expressed the positive aspects of attending such a forum. Arnold, who immigrated from Melbourne, Australia with his family in 1988, emphasized especially the help that participating in a discussion comprised solely of fathers of victims of terror had given him.

"It was the first time that I had ever been in such a forum," Roth acknowledged. "The interaction among the grieving fathers sparked off feelings inside of me which I had until now found very difficult to express."

Also attending the retreat was Rena Ish-Ran, from Tekoah, in the West Bank. Her son Yosef "Yossi" Ishran was abducted and murdered by terrorists along with Koby Mandell in May 2001.

"My younger son was so close to Yossi, and since his death has become more and more withdrawn. He slept with Yossi's prayer book under his pillow and when we decided that we would come to the retreat during Chol Hamoed Succoth, he became quite distressed," explained Rena. "However when we got here he seemed to become increasingly more relaxed, and the seminars and activities have really begun to bring him out of himself."

The northern retreat was not the only one run by the Koby Mandell Foundation during Chol Hamoed Succoth; another retreat, held in the Dead Sea Region, was geared specifically for children of high school age.

When asked how he saw the future of the foundation, Rabbi Mandell replied: "First and foremost, I hope and pray that there will be an end to terror and that those families in need of our support will not continue to grow."

He added, "We see ourselves organizing these retreats and similar activities for many years to come, and continue to give and receive comfort to those whose lives have been tragically and inexorably changed as a result of this wanton terror."

The Kobi Mandell Foundation receives support from the Jewish Agency Fund for Victims of Terror.