Every time a news bulletin comes on the air regarding a new terrorist bombing in Israel we are glued to the TV, always hoping against hope that our 37-year-old son Steve and his family are safe and not involved. We watch the news as an on-going ritual searching pictures of one disaster after another for our loved ones not to be there. There is a perpetual state of butterflies that exists within us for this vital, handsome, brave offspring who has lived in Israel, his chosen homeland, since he was a teenager. Although the life is difficult, he has managed to live here happily despite the many hardships that he and his countrymen have experienced.

We had arrived home before on May 17 from a wonderful evening at an awards dinner where my husband David had received a lifetime award from his colleagues at the hospital where he works as a surgeon. Of course, as usual we put on Fox News in order to update what was happening in the world and especially Israel.

There it was! Another bus bombing in Jerusalem. The number six bus was hit by a terrorist, dressed as an orthodox Jew, wearing a bomb belt detonated to kill himself and take with him as many innocent victims as he could.

I searched the rescue scene again hoping that I would not recognize anyone I knew. A wave of nausea passed over me as I thought I caught a glimpse of Steve's arm on a stretcher. "Just a mother's fear," I thought; "couldn't be." But another sleepless night lay ahead. Every hour awake wondering if this time I was not imagining this horrible happening.

The phone call came at 6 a.m. His wife Julie was on the phone, speaking very calmly and slowly. "There has been a bombing on the bus that Steve was on. He is alive but hurt. Here is Barbara, the social worker who will explain." My husband and I are wide awake now, stunned, anxious, and in tears. Barbara Hanoch begins to speak. Steve received an injury to his spinal cord, his cervical cord between C3-4.

He is stable, and has had surgery to remove the ball bearing that entered his neck.

As medical people we know that that level of entry is a critically devastating injury. He is conscious but on a ventilator. We have arranged for you to stay in the "melonite" at Hadassah Hospital Ein Kerem. Someone from the "Petuach Leumi" will contact you. Barbara relayed all the necessary information professionally and compassionately. We were to make arrangements to fly to Israel as soon as possible.

Thus began our new life that will forever be changed. The terrible injury has affected not only Steve, but also his entire family and friends including four sons who will most likely never be able to sit on their Dad's shoulders, play Frisbee on Shabbat, or run the baseball bases with him ever again.

We arrived at 10 a.m. the next day, and as I sit by his bedside watching his body fight to obtain the oxygen so vital for life, my mind and thoughts travel in many directions.

I cannot understand the mentality of a culture where Palestinian parents raise a child to want to die in such a fashion; bombs strapped to his waist with shrapnel of all imaginative kinds (in order to inflict the most deadly damage to the innocent).

He was a 19-year-old engineering student whose parents, although mourning his loss, are "proud of what their son has done." How much good might this young man have done for his people in a long lifetime.

I cannot fathom the mentality of a culture that teaches their young to hate with such a passion that instead of wanting to grow up to serve their people in a productive way, they have been brainwashed into killing innocent people while dying themselves as to attain a place in heaven with wonderful rewards.

I cannot understand the mentality of a culture whose math books in school teach "if there are five Jews and you kill three Jews, how many Jews are left?" or who dress their young ones in costumes depicting these killers as heroes and martyrs.

I am appalled by the vast sums of money in the hands of the Palestinian leaders that is earmarked for the training, motivation, arming and rewarding of these atrocities instead of using these funds to show the world how a people can utilize wealth for schools (that teach tolerance and love as well as academics), build playgrounds, sports arenas, theaters, museums, universities and initiate industry to enable their own people to be employed and not have to go outside their homes for their so called enemy who will pay them to work but still be hated. Where is the devotion of these people to their land? Why don't they work it so that there will be lush green fields and trees for all their people to appreciate and be proud to display to the rest of the world?

I cannot understand a news media that encourage these homicide bombers by sensationalizing their horrific behavior. We hear mainly about the bomber – his poor family who mourns with pride – and about those nasty Israeli's who have leveled the beloved homes of these man-made monsters. There is then a short statement on the count of the dead and wounded. No ongoing follow up on the survivors and their heroic battle to return to a normal health and life. No history on the survivors or of how their loved ones are impacted by this tragedy.

Having been raised during the Holocaust and during times of great anti-Semitism, we understand how frustrated a people can get trying to establish their own identity and culture. NEVER have we witnessed Jews resorting to this outrageous behavior as a people. We have been taught tolerance, compassion, pride, hard work and the desire to serve all people as well as our own. We cannot envision any justification for this brutal, evil, and barbaric behavior of this culture.

I cannot understand a world which condemns a country that has for years had to defend itself against the surrounding enemy and who are forced to give back land which was won as a result of defeating attackers whose only goal is to drive Israel into the sea.

I see the hospital and its dedicated staff functioning, caring for both Arab and Jew alike with compassion. I see and am informed that Palestinians are being trained as physicians at this hospital. My surgeon husband is invited into the operating room of Professor Avi Rifkin to observe an Arab resident assist the Professor and learn new skills. They have asked the Palestinians what surgical specialties need training for their hospitals...but they have never given an answer.

Taking our grandsons to the Jerusalem zoo for a break, I see hordes of Arab families enjoying themselves, unafraid of a potential Israeli bomber lurking and plotting their death or maiming. I cannot understand why Israeli's cannot go to Rachel's Tomb in Hebron with the same feeling of security. I cannot understand why all of the potential Palestinian state must be "Judenrein"(free of Jews) according to the Palestinians but Israel (a Jewish state) can have Arabs living among them and benefiting from jobs, schools, medical care, etc. I cannot understand the mentality of the media which do not address these inconsistencies over and over again.

We are comforted by the throng of friends, both here in Israel and from the states, who come to show they care. Over the years our son has acquired a broad variety of friends, from the most religious observant to the most secular, all caring about his situation and all praying for his recovery. Officers from the Golani brigade in which Steve served for three years, his comrades from milueem (reserves) who were with him during many battles, members of the police force with whom he worked at one time, students he instructed at his present job as private weapons instructor, friends from "The Swamp" (his earlier hangout) and from Mike's Place (his present place of R & R [rest & relaxation]). His old friend Adam who has flown in from the United States (with a ticket provided by his friends) staying at his bedside day after day.

Steve cannot speak yet. He has a tracheotomy and is still on a ventilator. He has a feeding tube in his stomach, splints for his legs and hands, an access tube in his jugular vein for fluid and medicine intake, special compression equipment for his legs (to avoid phlebitis and clots), and a catheter in his bladder. He cannot move his arms or legs at this time. This is how his four young sons will see him after they are prepared by psychologists to know what to expect. This is what he is aware they will see. This strapping, powerful six-foot strong man whose future is so very uncertain.

And then there are the "Angels" who come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and tongues. Dr. Sharon Einav (intensive-care physician in charge) who not only uses her vast medical skills to care for our son, but who makes herself available at all times to us despite her strenuous, very busy schedule. She is charming, knowledgeable, dedicated ... a real "mensch." Steve's nurses are Israelis from all cultural backgrounds. Ruth, who covers her head in religious observance, knows exactly what to do and say at any given moment. No matter what the request, she is able and willing. Ava, from Russia, who although matter of fact at first, showed her soft caring side as time has gone by. Nayeelah, who is Israeli-Arab, expert in her nursing care ... expert in humanity, cried with us at the unexplainable. Her children attend an Arab/Jewish school. Her husband worked as a policeman with Steve.

Mohammed, an Israeli-Arab is always there when caring for Steve, always trying to make him comfortable. Arit, head nurse, trying to prepare us and the entire family for the future. I watch people from all cultures giving care and getting care.

Families wait endlessly for word of their loved ones' progress while volunteers from several organization pass our sandwiches and hot meals (free). Shabbat meals for all staying (free) from more volunteers. A son who comes to do Kiddush and Havdalah for his father invites us to participate at bedside. The volunteer cleaning people who work side by side with the medical and nursing staff (no sign of class distinction here). This is what the news media should be concentrating on.

Perhaps the most beautiful angel of all is Barbara Goldstein, executive director of Hadassah in Israel, who has virtually adopted us and is responsible for whatever piece of mind we might have. Barbara runs interference for us when something is needed, whether to obtain a piece of equipment that seems unattainable or to care for us by taking us out for a breather during the long watch. Barbara is available at any time of the day or night to meet whatever needs we might have. There is no problem too small or too large that she cannot handle and solve in minutes by a simple phone call or two.

There are many other people who have touched our lives in the past several weeks since May 18. Marleen Post, past president of Hadassah, Ron Krumer, director of External Relations of Hadassah, Audrey Shimron, associate of Barbara Goldstein, Barbara Sofer, director of Public Relations, Barbara Hanoch, Hadassah Social Worker, Osnat Moskowitz, director of Donor Department , Leah Reison, director of Youth Aliyah, and many other officials of Hadassah and other organizations associated with government agencies and voluntary groups.

People ask us whether we plan to bring Steve home. They do not realize that Steve IS home. As a medical family, we cannot imagine a place where Steve would receive better care. What country in the world has more experienced physicians and nurses in the field of trauma management? We are in awe of their skill and caring. We will therefore be traveling to Israel frequently in the immediate future.

I am a life member of Hadassah. My job and involvement with my family have prevented me from becoming very active with Hadassah. But, we see what this organization has done for all people, irrespective of their origin or ethnic background. We are humbled by this outpouring of love and a true desire to assist our family in our time of sorrow and need. We are forever indebted to all those wonderful people who have touched our lives.