By Matthew Halpern and Shelley Labiner

Published in the Daily Record, Monday, March 22, 2004

Caring for an elderly loved one is hard work and, sometimes, heartbreaking. As people live longer, there is greater likelihood they will eventually need more medical care and social services. When members of the "sandwich generation" are confronted with the responsibility of caring for an elderly parent, they are often overwhelmed by the financial and medical requirements, combined with great demands on their time.

More than 25 percent of American families are involved in some way with elder/parent care, and the number undoubtedly will increase as our population ages. A 1999 MetLife study showed that 33 percent of working women cut their work hours to care for a chronically ill loved one, 29 percent passed up job promotion training or an assignment, 16 percent quit their jobs, and 13 percent retired early. Caregivers struggle with high levels of frustration and stress -- and more and more people are being thrust into caregiving.

Take Mr. and Mrs. R., a couple in their late 70s. Mrs. R. has heart problems and diabetes. She is on dialysis three times a week. Last December she had surgery which made it necessary for the couple to locate and move into a facility that would provide an array of services. Where could they and their family turn for assistance?

Then there is Mrs. C., a woman in her mid-70s whose 50-year-old daughter suffers from a terminal illness, and is in a nursing home. Mrs. C.'s husband died from the same disorder and her son is in the early stages. How can Mrs. C. learn to deal with this pain?

Or what about Ms. T., whose father suffers from a form of dementia and whose mother has heart problems and no vision in one eye. She has moved her parents back to New Jersey from Florida but needs assistance in finding suitable activities and housing for them. Who can Ms. T. ask for guidance?

Mr. and Mrs. R., Mrs. C., and Ms. T. all were able to receive help from the Caregivers Resource Center, an innovative collaboration of Daughters of Israel and Jewish Family Service of MetroWest. Both are beneficiary agencies of United Jewish Communities of MetroWest NJ.

The Caregivers Resource Center was created in response to the rising challenges faced by caregivers and their families. It offers caregivers comprehensive support including: counseling, support groups, education groups, and respite care. The center offers a "one-stop-shop" for managing the plethora of issues facing families in these circumstances. United Jewish Communities, the pre-eminent Jewish philanthropy in New Jersey, prides itself on the range and high level of services it helps provide to our community's elderly. UJC-supported agencies provide eldercare and a wide array of social services and programs throughout Morris, Essex, Sussex, and north Union counties.

Among these initiatives is Kosher Meals on Wheels, whose volunteers deliver warmth and compassion, as well as nutritious food, to homebound seniors.

Another is the Lester Senior Housing Complex, which offers both independent and assisted living facilities, on the Aidekman Campus in Whippany. It is adjacent to the Lautenberg Family Jewish Community Center (JCC), so its residents can enjoy all the educational, recreational and cultural programs available there.

As our population ages, we face many new challenges to ensure that our elderly live in dignity and maintain the highest possible quality of life. UJC through its partnership with many social service agencies, continue to develop solutions that meet these increasing needs and provide comprehensive services to seniors and their families. To find out more about UJC or what we offer to the elderly, please contact us at (973) 929-3100 or visit us at www.ujcnj.org.

Matthew Halpern is the communications manager and Shelley Labiner is the director, marketing & communications, for United Jewish Communities of MetroWest NJ.